ABUSE IS NOT ROMANCE! (FIFTY SHADES OF GREY)

With the movie version of Fifty Shades of Grey being released this weekend, thousands (Heavens, I hope it's only thousands) of women who haven't read the book are probably going to flock to the cinemas to see what all the fuss is about.  I feel very strongly about the negative impact these books and movies can have on our women and our societies.  I can't dictate what you read or watch, or what you don't - that is the beauty of free will - but neither can I say nothing.  Love or hate the books, you can't deny that this is a toxic relationship; for Anastasia at least.  Women argue that Ana's love and nurturing "cures" Christian Grey from his violent, controlling tendencies.  The message these books and movies will be trying to convey is thus that woman can, and should, cure controlling, abusive men by being obedient and devoted, and that somehow this is romantic.  Women stuck with real-life Christian Grey's will strongly disagree. There is nothing romantic about being in a relationship where your partner puts bruises on your body, makes you bleed or ignores you when you say "no". 

Here are some of the quotes from the FSOG books proving that Anastasia is indeed caught in an abusive relationship; and we can all agree that no form of abusive could ever be romantic.

Above images created by the sixth siren of pandora.

REVIEW: SINNER'S CREED ~ SCOTT STAPP

Growing up in the 80’s and 90's with two older brothers, it was impossible not to develop an appreciation for rock ‘n roll.  While I have dipped my toe in the pools of other genres from time to time, thankfully rock has always been my favourite.  I’ve always loved rock music.  I’ve always loved Jesus.  I’d never imagined the two could merge until one day back in 1999 when my brother Christian brought home the CD Human Clay, by a band called Creed.  He walked into my room, said “Listen to this”, and played me the song Higher.  The opening riff had my hooked already and by the time the drums kicked in I had a huge smile on my face.  I was in love with the song before Scott Stapp even started singing.  Then came the lyrics.  I looked at my brother and said “It sounds like he’s singing about Heaven”.  Chris replied “He is singing about Heaven”, and a whole new world was opened to me.  I had never heard music about God in the Rock genre before.  (I’m not saying it didn’t exist, I had just personally never heard it before).  At the age of 14, Creed introduced me to the new medium combining two great loves of my life, and changed the way I looked at music.  For that I will always be thankful, and for this reason Creed will always hold a special place in my heart.  To this day Higher is one of my all-time favourite songs. 

Never could I have imagined that behind the man responsible for some of my favourite song lyrics ever, was a world of hurt.  In Sinner’s Creed, Scott Stapp shares the story of his life.  A story filled with rejection, depression, betrayal and addiction – but also a story about the grace of God, the gift of redemption and the joys of unconditional love.

Sin is forever knocking, beating at the iron door.
Don't even open for an instant, sin always wants more - Scott Stapp

Sinner’s Creed is a memoir you truly have to read for yourself, so I won’t say too much in the way of spoilers.  Scott starts his tale as a young boy with an absentee father, soon introduced to the man who would become his stepfather.  The injustices committed against Scott by a man who should have protected him and shaped him, caused me so much anger.  It’s unthinkable how one man’s warped perception of God can damage others, especially children!  Some of the things he said about God…

Scott had many bad experiences with so-called believers throughout his life.  He was even unjustly punished for confessing a mistake he had made and for telling the truth.  It’s truly terrifying how Christians can be responsible for sending other Christians running from the church.  Having finally found a church where I feel welcome and at home, I have come to realise anew how important fellowship with other believers truly are.  It’s a miracle that despite some of the things other believers have said and done, that Scott never gave up on loving God even though he ran away from the church.  The loving God his grandfather told him about is the One he held onto and it saved his life – a great piece of advice for parents!  The foundation you lay for your child CAN be strong enough to withstand the storms of life.

Scott furthermore shares stories of how he got screwed over (to my mind, at least) by everyone from his family, friends, his band members, his managers… it was quite disheartening at times to realise how much he had to go through and how unappreciated all his efforts were.  Yet Scott never points fingers at others; he simply tells his story and shares how all of that led to feelings of abandonment and betrayal, which led to even bigger problems.  Furthermore, Scott doesn’t pretend to be a blameless victim – he comes clean about his own mistakes and takes responsibility for his actions.  The reader gets an inside look at the pressures of being the frontman of a successful rock band, and the pitfalls of fame and fortune.

What saddened me most is that Creed was labelled uncool because of the Christian imagery in their music.  To me, this was the very thing that made them cool!  

While Sinner’s Creed is a dark read at times, as it always does the light overpowers the dark.  Ultimately it portrays how turning to God can save your life, and your spirit. 

Product Information:

Title: Sinner's Creed

Author: Scott Stapp (with David Ritz)

Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers

Year: 2012

Pages: 336

ISBN-10: 1414364575

ISBN-13: 978-1414364575

ASIN: B007V69IHW 

FREE ON AMAZON: I'M NO ANGEL ~ KYLIE BISUTTI

For a limited time the Kindle edition of Kylie Bisutti's I'm No Angel is free on Amazon! You can read my review here, and download the free book here.

In December 2011, 21-year-old Victoria's Secret model Kylie Bisutti stunned the fashion industry when she chose faith over fame and fortune and made the switch from supermodel to role model.

In I'm No Angel, Kylie shares her story--from her early years struggling to make it big in the cut-throat world of modeling, her "big break" winning the Victoria's Secret Runway Angel competition, and the disillusionment and spiritual warfare that followed, to the moment she realized that she could no longer reconcile her career with her Christian beliefs, surrendered her life to God, said goodbye to the runway, and dedicated her life to preaching a message of modesty and inner beauty.

Along the way, Kylie talks about her personal struggles with inadequacy, low self-esteem, and her near-constant quest for approval in a world where you can never be thin enough, pretty enough, or sexy enough. She helps readers understand that true beauty lies within and that real fulfillment comes from knowing, loving, and serving Christ.

TYNDALE BLOG NETWORK REVIEW: I'M NO ANGEL ~ KYLIE BISUTTI

I quit being a VS model to become a Proverbs 31 wife – Kylie Bisutti

LEAVING FAME FOR FAITH

I knew I couldn’t continue to pursue a career as a supermodel – let alone a Victoria’s Secret model – and still live a life that was honouring to God.  The desire for personal fame and glory would always stand in direct opposition to the kind of humility and modesty God desired.  And they would forever stand in the way of my becoming the kind of God-honoring wife Mike deserved – the kind of woman I read about in Proverbs 31 - Kylie Bisutti

In December 2011, 21-year-old Victoria’s Secret model Kylie Bisutti stunned the fashion industry when she chose faith over fame and fortune and made the switch from supermodel to role model.

In I’m No Angel, Kylie shares her story - from her early years struggling to make it big in the cut-throat world of modeling, her “big break” winning the Victoria’s Secret Angel competition, and the disillusionment and spiritual warfare that followed, to the moment she realized that she could no longer reconcile her career with her Christian beliefs, surrendered her life to God, turned in her Angel wings, and dedicated her life to preaching a message of modesty and inner beauty.

Along the way, Kylie talks about her personal struggles with inadequacy, low self-esteem, and her near-constant quest for approval in a world where you can never be thin enough, pretty enough, or sexy enough. She helps readers understand that true beauty lies within and that real fulfillment comes from knowing, loving, and serving Christ.

I’m no Angel by Kylie Bisutti  is the story of a Victoria’s Secret Angel, the most glamorous of models, leaving the fashion industry and modeling world behind to honour her husband, and God, with her body.  Becoming a VS Angel shortly after marrying the man of her dreams, Kylie and Mike were catapulted into a world neither of them expected.  Kylie adequately phrases it as “By taking on the persona of an Angel, I had unwittingly signed a deal with the devil”.

Kylie treats the reader to a front row seat of her entire modeling career with all its ups and downs; starting out modeling at the local mall, following opportunities that took her abroad, signing with agencies in New York, and finally hitting the big time by becoming a Victoria’s Secret Angel.  As to why she wrote this book, Kylie explains:

I believe God allowed me to walk through the fire and see the best and the worst the industry had to offer so I could come out on the other side stronger and wiser, with my eyes fully opened to the truth.  And now I believe He is calling me to share what I’ve learned, with the hope that other people won’t have to learn the hard way, as I did. - Kylie Bisutti

Kylie (second row, third from right) with some of the other VS Angels

In many ways, the entire [Victoria's Secret] brand exists to create an illusion of the perfect woman - one engineered to drive men toward lust and, at the same time, drive thousands of impressionable young women toward frustration, self-hatred and despair as they try in vain to achieve an impossible ideal - Kylie Bisutti 

We follow Kylie’s harrowing experiences, including being exposed to the dangers of sex-trafficking and prostitution, the drug abuse, eating disorders and extreme surgeries some models subject themselves to in order to be skinny, and the disturbing reality that a model wanting to be a part of the fashion industry needed at least one topless photo in her portfolio: "What does posing nude have to do with fashion? I wondered.  And yet the models with the R-rated comp cards seemed to be the ones getting the jobs."

 

Then there are the horrific elements that came too close to home in Kylie’s case; verbal abuse - being called a fat pig and a cow by her agent (for the "crime" of being a size 2!), physical abuse - what is to my mind assault and a near-rape by a seedy photographer exploiting a young girl new to the business, and the infidelity, the lies, the deception, the betrayal, and the pornography that seems to be par for the course in the industry.  Kylie elaborates on the excessive and often painful beauty treatments used to get models runway-ready, and even her own surreal experience of being Photoshopped to have a  significantly smaller waist, and a bust size three times her normal one!  The reader also gets a glimpse of what the lifestyle meant for her marriage and how it affected her husband.  We don't always think how hard it must be for a man to watch his wife strut her stuff in underwear, millions of other men getting to see her that way; not to mention the comments from his friends!

Kylie and her husband, Mike

Despite being happily married and very much in love with her husband, Kylie was encouraged to refrain from wearing her wedding ring in order to keep the fantasy of the VS brand alive.  She was also approached by at least one celebrity through VS, who thought Kylie was his type and he wanted to “get together” – even though the fact that Kylie is married was no secret.  By all accounts neither the celebrity nor the VS exec had a problem with propositioning a married woman.  Shocking! Kylie was expected to play down her marriage, and to be a flirty, seemingly available VS model.

Angels are put on the runway with one intention: to seduce every man in eyeshot.  It would be years before the Lord would awaken me to the twisted irony in that: Angels, depicted in the Bible to be God’s messengers, being portrayed as sex symbols. - Kylie Bisutti

I wouldn't say that I'm No Angel is an exposé on the dark side of the industry; for me it's more of a testimony - in writing this book Kylie doesn’t badmouth anyone or anything, she simply tells her story.  This book is an excellent read for all women in general, and I would especially recommend it to girls considering entering the world of modeling, as well as their parents. 

More than focusing on the industry as such, Kylie is focusing on being a woman of worth – the importance of being a Proverbs 31 woman strongly comes across, and the message of inner beauty far outshines the focus on the glamorous outer beauty.  It was a pleasure following Kylie’s journey, and her spiritual growth is a joy to experience. 

I'm No Angel contains the most accurate depiction of the modeling industry nowadays, that I've ever come across.  Kylie concurs, at some point  modeling "is not about modeling clothes anymore".

I’d known for years that a big part of the industry was selling sex – especially when it came to lingerie.  But until I heard him say the words, “That’s what we’re paying you for,” it had never really hit home before.  That’s when it finally hit me.  I was being paid to tease, tempt and tantalize men.  And it wasn’t just my job.  As a Victoria’s Secret Angel I was expected to make this my whole identity.  

I simply couldn’t live the lifestyle the brand demanded and be a strong, faithful Christian wife.

Kylie doesn't hold back any of her mistakes in writing this book.  It must have been really hard for her to relay some of the things she went through, but the lessons she learned are valuable and can save many young girls from similar hurts.  More importantly, Kylie has let go of her past thanks to Christ's forgiveness.  Kylie now lives a quiet life with Mike in Montana where she volunteers at her local church, and is working on a Christian fashion line that she describes as modest clothes for women of all shapes and sizes. 

...thanks to the Internet, there would always be dozens of images of me out there I wished didn’t exist.  While those images may never go away, I can assure you that the girl in them no longer exists.  As the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5: 17, “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.  The old life is gone; a new life has begun! - Kylie Bisutti

Product Information:

Title: I’m No Angel

Author: Kylie Bisutti

Number of pages: 304

Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers

Year: 2013

ISBN-10: 1414383096

ISBN-13: 978-1414383095

Tyndale House Publishers has kindly provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for an honest review.  I did not receive any monetary compensation for this review, nor did this review lead to any personal gain other than the joy of being part of the Tyndale Blog Network.

CUT IN HALF: HOW GOD MENDED ME WITH 23 MIRACLES ~ ANA LE ROUX

By now you must have realised I’m into fiction.  When I read, I like to completely shut out reality and get lost in imaginary worlds.  I don’t often read biographies or such, but I do, however, like to read personal accounts of extraordinary events.  To date, the most exceptional account I’ve read was I have life by Alison Botha.  Every South African knows her extraordinary tale of survival.  In Port Elizabeth in 1994 Alison was brutally attacked by two men (later dubbed the ripper rapists) who overpowered her, raped her, stabbed her 30 times and cut her throat 16 times.  They left her to die in the dirt.  By the grace of God, Alison’s aorta was not damaged!  She could still force oxygen into her lungs, and keeping her intestines inside her body with one hand, and her head on her body with the other, Alison stumbled into the road.  A medical student found her and raced her to the nearest hospital.  Alison survived this horrific event, recovered miraculously and is a motivational speaker today.

After 18 years, I have found an account to rival Alison’s in terms of an extraordinary survival and recovery.  My sister-in-law, Taryn, gave me this book to read.  It was written by a friend of hers, also a South African woman.  The title Cut in half: How God mended me with 23 miracles is pretty self-explanatory. This book is Ana Le Roux’s testimony. 

Nine years ago, in 2003, young mother Ana Le Roux was involved in a head on collision.  Just three weeks after the birth of her son, Ana was literally cut in half by the force with which her body jack-knifed around the lap seat belt she was wearing.  This book opened my eyes to the danger of lap belts – something I have never been made aware of.  I quite frequently sit in the middle back-seat because I prefer the view, and as such I often make use of the lap belt… or shall I say used to.  I am grateful that Ana’s story made me aware of the dangers surrounding the lap belt. 

Ana was not expected to survive.  Her body was literally cut in half; Her spine was broken, her aorta was severed, her colon and small intestines were ripped. When it became apparent that she was pulling through, the prognosis was that Ana’s right leg would be amputated and that she would in all probability be paralised for the rest of her life.  Ana’s internal injuries were extensive, and a very long road of recovery loomed before her. As with Alison, God meant for Ana to not only survive, but recover. 

Cut in half: How God mended me with 23 miracles tells Ana’s story of how God healed her physically, spiritually and emotionally.  Where some might have shrugged events off as unimportant, credited luck or coincidence, Ana saw the truth: miracles;  God’s personal intervention.  In this day and age people are quick to say things like “I was so lucky”, or “I was at the right place at the right time”, or “What an amazing coincidence”.  People credit luck, destiny or fate.  So many phrases every single day diminish God’s participation in our lives, and with this book Ana strives to remind readers that miracles happen every single day – we just need to recognise them.

Ana doesn’t have the writing style of an author, and she’ll tell you herself that she is not an author.  You can tell Ana wrote these words herself.  Her writing is very forthright, like she’s in an active conversation with the reader.  This approach keeps the reader rooted in reality.  If the writing had been too fussy and frilly, this story would have strayed too close to fiction.  With Ana’s direct approach the reader never forgets that this miraculous event truly occurred, and that God is active in our lives every single day.

Cut in half: How God mended me with 23 miracles by Ana Le Roux is not only an inspirational story about survival, it is a very touching testimony every Christian should read.  Even better: share it with non-believers.  God might use you and Ana’s story to bring a lost child home.

REVIEW: PEARL IN THE SAND ~ TESSA AFSHAR

We all know the story of Rahab: A Canaanite prostitute who saved the lives of two Hebrews in Jericho and secured, for her family, exemption from the annihilation of Jericho.  The Bible then tells us that Rahab married Salmone, the Hebrew leader of the tribe of Judah, and had a son named Boaz.  Through their line, Jesus Christ was ultimately born.  Though a Canaanite prostitute, Rahab is described in the Bible as a woman of faith.

We read this story, take note of the content, but never quite imagine how it all must have come together.  Why would a Canaanite woman betray her country, her people, her gods, for the God of the Hebrews?  Why did the Hebrews agree to spare a woman of the enemy they were instructed to destroy?  How did she then come to marry a Hebrew? The leader of Judah, no less.  Didn’t he care about her past or how it could affect his position?  How was Rahab, a zonah, treated by the Hebrews?  Pearl in the Sand by Tessa Afshar, provides us with a beautiful possibility of how Rahab’s story might have gone.  Though fictional, this story is built on a foundation of Biblical facts.

Rahab, a Canaanite, turns her back on the gods of her people at a young age, disgusted with the rituals surrounding them.  Fornication at the temples, sacrificing human lives, Rahab can’t stand the practices of her people.  

A severe drought causes her family to suffer.  They have no food, and no means to obtain money.  That is when Rahab is betrayed by the man she loves and depends on most: Her father.  At the age of fifteen Rahab is sold into prostitution in order to provide for her family.  Though she has no choice, Rahab does put her foot down and makes it clear that if she must do this, she will do it on her own terms.  She refuses to become a temple prostitute to be used by any man who walks by her, and chooses her own customers.  Hating what she has to do, Rahab tries to minimize her disgrace by only being with one man at a time, for a period of time she determines.  She guards her heart, refusing to ever hand it over to any man, and chooses carefully to whom she will give her body.  Rahab becomes wealthy and runs her own inn – not a brothel. Even though Rahab has all the fine material things she could want, her soul remains empty.  She can never fill the hole in her innermost being… until she hears of the God of the Hebrews.

Having been freed of the slavery in Egypt, having wandered the desert for forty years, the Israelites are finally entering the promised land and conquering Canaan.  The biggest cities are defeated to the absolute bafflement of all in Jericho.  

Desperate for something to cling to, Rahab absorbs every piece of information she learns of the God of the Hebrews.  He is powerful, and by all accounts a compassionate and loving God.  What makes Him even more intriguing is that he forbids the practices the Canaanites’ gods encourage, the practices Rahab herself abhors.  Even though she knows that according to the law of the God of the Hebrews someone like her (a prostitute) must be stoned, so severe is her sin, she cannot help but thirst for Him.  Alone on her roof, Rahab instinctively prays to the God of the Hebrews, and gives herself to His service if He will have her.  She promises to, never again, sell her body.  Peace unlike any she has ever known settles over Rahab, and a woman of faith is born.

A few weeks later Rahab notices two men trying to enter Jericho through the entrance to the wall in which her inn is situated.  Immediately realising that they are Hebrews, Rahab intercedes with the guards, drawing attention to herself, and gets Hanani and Ezra into her inn as fast as she can and hides them from the soldiers.  Later, while having dinner, Rahab asks them about their God.  By the time Ezra and Hanani secretly leave Jericho the following morning, Rahab has made two new friends, and has secured a promise that she and her family will be spared when the Israelites conquer Jericho – Rahab never doubts that God will give them the victory.

Salmone, the leader of the tribe of Judah, is outraged when he learns that his friends have promised to spare a Canaanite woman and her family – God clearly instructed the Israelites to destroy Canaan in its entirety.  Hanani and Ezra, however, are convinced that the Lord sent Rahab to them, and as such, God must have a plan for her as well.  Joshua, the leader of Israel, agrees, and it is decided that Rahab and her family will be spared.

After the fall of Jericho, Rahab makes another request of Ezra and Hanani.  She and her family wishes to join the Hebrews.  To proud Salmone’s dismay, Joshua agrees and puts Rahab and her family in the tribe of Judah, instructing Salmone himself to see to their integration into the ways of the Hebrews.  Despising Rahab’s former profession, Salmone can’t seem to forget her past, and even though Rahab appears to be humble and shy (impossible for a zonah!), and genuinely desperate to please his beloved Lord, Salmone continues to treat her and her family with a cold disdain.  It seems, however, that God intends transforming Salmone’s soul as much as he has transformed Rahab’s.  Can it be?  Can the leader of the tribe of Judah truly fall in love with a former zonah?  And more importantly, even though the only Rahab he has ever known is the kind of gentle, humble, God-fearing woman he has always yearned for, can he make peace with her past?

Pearl in the Sand is the most beautiful book I have read in years!  I rank it right up there with my absolute favourites, Francine Rivers’ Redeeming Love and Mark of the Lion, and as with these, Pearl in the Sand is one of those books I wish everybody I know would read. 

This fictional account of Rahab’s story is so beautifully written and touches on so many things that must have been issues for Rahab, that you can’t help but think that Rahab’s true circumstances must have been very close to what is described in this book.  I never considered something as simple as Rahab and her family having to first learn all the ways of the Hebrews before entering their camp, so as not to defile it in any way – the smallest thing done in ignorance could have meant the death penalty for any one of them. 

I love Afshar’s depiction of the characters.  I especially love the character of Joshua – though very respectfully done, Joshua is quite a humourous character (and by that I mean that while he is very much the wise, trusted and capable leader the Bible describes him to be, he has quite the sense of humour!) It’s sometimes hard to imagine Biblical characters being anything other than serious, but surely they couldn’t have been serious all the time?  This book does a beautiful job of giving all of the characters a lighter side, making them very relatable. 

I especially love the scene explaining the title of the book – a beautiful pearl-in-the-sand-analogy that you must discover for yourself.   

Words cannot effectively express how much I love this book.  Read it!

Product information:

Title: Pearl In The Sand

Author: Tessa Afshar

Number of pages: 320

Publisher: Moody Publishers

Year: 2010

ISBN-10: 0802458815

ISBN-13: 978-0802458810 

FIFTY SHADES OF SCARLET

I have wanted to write something about the Fifty Shades trilogy for a while now, but as I haven’t read any of the books (nor do I intend reading them) I felt that should just ignore it.  Not much gets on my nerves quite so much as someone expressing an opinion about a book I’ve read when they haven’t read it themselves (like the Harry Potter series is satanic, or The Shack is blasphemous).  I even fleetingly considered reading the first book in order to validate having an opinion, but quite frankly I just don’t want this junk in my head.  In this case I think I can make an exception and write this post without actually having read the books.  I did have a look at some readings on Youtube, and while those of Ellen DeGeneres and Zack Galifianakis and Will Ferrell are pretty funny, as is the Jimmy Fallon Karaoke, some of them are just too much.  This is really not something I would read for entertainment.  Or for any other reason.

From the author’s website: When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.  Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.  Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

So, the Fifty Shades Trilogy by E.L James is basically three books about BSDM: A combination of bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism.  Now, I haven’t read the books, but I’ve read reviews and these books are strongly labelled as erotica.  The difference between a romance novel and an erotic novel, is that a romance novel is about the love story (may or may not feature a love scene, usually quite tasteful as these things go) and that an erotic novel is about the sex scenes (may or may not feature a romantic storyline, usually quite weak).  Fifty Shades of Grey is therefore erotica.  Several reviews have made mention of the fact that no less than 75% is about the sexual acts that Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele carry out.  Bottom line: It’s pornography. It’s no different than a man looking at dirty magazines or watching porn.  Men are stimulated visually, women are stimulated mentally.  If you wouldn’t want the man in your life to degrade women or cheapen your relationship by watching porn or reading dirty magazines, there is no way you can justify reading Fifty Shades. 

Women who have read the books have told me that while the sexual stuff is very graphic, that it’s a really nice story if you can get past all that.  I’m sorry, but I don’t get why you would want to assault your mind with graphic scenes of bondage, sadism and masochism, just so you can read a scant few paragraphs about “the beautiful story”.  Apparently these books are not even well written from a literary perspective – which means, it’s trashy, poorly written erotica.  I can’t see how anything good can come of reading these books.  Like Tamara Lowe says, “It’s all designed to fill your head and waste your space until you’re dead”. 

Now, I’m not saying that reading it makes you a bad person.  I know several women whom I like and respect who have read these books – it doesn’t make them bad people, and I'm not judging them in any way.  I am merely concerned over how popular this kind of material is becoming in this day and age.  I believe that in reading this kind of material you are walking a fine line and toying with sin; Sinful thoughts, at the very least, and that’s dangerous.  “Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death” (James 1:15). By repeatedly exposing yourselves to this kind of material, you also become desensitized to pornography.  You’re filling your head with garbage, and romanticising it.  The Bible clearly says “Therefore, putting away all filthiness and overflowing of wickedness, receive with humility the implanted word, which is able to save your souls" (James 1:21), and “Whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things” (Philippians 4:8) . 

You need to listen to this podcast of The Mark Gungor Show (minute 24:00+).  Mark Gungor is an unconventional pastor in the best possible way, best known for his marriage seminars (Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage).  In the above podcast he, Diane Brierley and Ross Skorzewski are discussing the Fifty Shades phenomenon. 

As Mark says, “The female culture has hit an all-time low; or an all-time high on the stupid scale”.  Harsh words, but worth considering.  This BSDM fantasy is being supported by women!  Fifty Shades is a bestseller in every single bookstore I walk into, and has become so popular that a movie version is in the works.  A movie version… you get that, right?  Porn.  Ladies, your defending of this “beautiful story” has led to the making of a film version – you can’t see this being a PG movie, can you?  Pornography.  Supported by women.   Some women might say they are “enlightened” or “liberated”… I don’t buy it.  What you are doing is cheapening yourself and trying to justify it.  What has become of women fighting to not be degraded or objectified?  We degrade and objectify women ourselves by supporting this garbage.

I'd like to conclude with a poem by  this young girl speaking out against today's pop culture.  So true.

Dear Pop Culture; Dear Pop Sensation,

I’m writing to you because your lies are so pervasive in this American generation. 

Because listening to your lies was once my brain’s fixation. 

But for years now, I have had the realization, 

that your lyrics are an utter fabrication. 

That you sing with the serpent’s tongue over this nation, 

like lullabies in a dream-world destination, 

contorting and distorting people’s imagination.

And with your control and manipulation, 

we take in the sound waves that come to our radio station. 

When you call us a superstar, we call it inspiration. 

When you sing tolerance, we feel liberation. 

When you dance and flaunt your body in a provocative presentation, 

we accept it as entertainment without hesitation. 

You take the human body in all it’s beauty and creation, 

and present it like scum with unreserved humiliation 

to a world obsessed with over-sexualization.

You say free-fall into temptation 

and act as if there is no harm in the sex-game fixation. 

You say get drunk at a party and stir up the flirtation, 

enjoy the lit-up party scene saturation. 

Be who you are and express your orientation. 

The world is about you and your instant gratification. 

You sing I’m on the edge of glory with your own glorification. 

You fire up the feeling of victimization, 

so that rebellion and revenge feel like the only justification, 

and you so conveniently offer every emotional accommodation.

While we sit back and allow your perverted narration over our lives, 

and let you control our destination, 

your lyrics are like cancer, in need of radiation. 

I have watched as the youth cry out and worship you in adoration, 

with a crazy, obsessive, unhealthy fascination. 

They look to you for confirmation and validation. 

Because in reality, they’re yearning for a serious revelation 

from the depths of despair, depression and frustration. 

But they are jumping and taking rest on a sandy foundation, 

because what you have to offer, is nothing with any legitimate explanation 

about how the world works, or true love clarification. 

What they need is an internal evaluation.

Because truly they search for a God who offers a heart-transformation. 

And while you can do nothing about their messed-up situation, 

my redeemer, named Jesus, offers redemption. 

So listen to me, this is a hurt-people-hurt people duplication.  

And you are only feeding them your puked-up desperation 

twisted into lyrics and rhymes in a Hollywood location.

Here is my battle cry and declaration. 

With God on my side, I will stand against the desensitization. 

I’ll stand in the gap and let irritation be my motivation. 

And though from where you're standing looks good from your calculations, 

my God uses different equations. 

He says, we’re all lost and in need of salvation. 

He’s the author of true love and there’s no other replication.

REVIEW: A MEMORY BETWEEN US ~ SARAH SUNDIN

Ruth Doherty is the oldest of seven children.  Having lost both their parents, it falls to Ruth to provide for her family.  Serving as a nurse during World War II, Ruth spends no money on herself, and sends every penny home to provide for her brothers and sisters.  Working hard for every cent, Ruth has no time for friendship or dating.  When she meets Major Jack Novak in her ward, a cautious friendship soon develops, and drawn to this man of honour Ruth starts to reconsider her strict no dating rule – but Ruth carries a secret that makes it impossible.  A terrible truth and a carefully constructed shield around her heart prevents Ruth from ever giving her heart to any man – not even kind, handsome, persistent Jack Novak.

Major Jack Novak was raised to follow in his father’s footsteps, to be a pastor.  While he loves the Lord, Jack also falls in love with military life when he becomes a pilot during the World War II.  While facing the decision of staying in the military or going into the ministry, Jack’s reputation as an excellent pilot and leader grows, and confidence soon turns into arrogance and pride.  Starting to trust in himself and his own abilities instead of the Lord, Jack grows reckless and an injury lands him in the medical ward, where he loses his heart to Nurse Ruth Doherty – the only problem is, she refuses to date; him or anyone else.  Devising a plan to win her heart before she realises what he’s up to, Jack penetrates Ruth’s defences by agreeing to only be her friend – but when he learns Ruth’s secret, will his love remain true, or crumble like his image of Ruth’s perfection?

A Memory Between Us is my first read of author Sarah Sundin.  I quite enjoyed her take on World War II.  Her portrayal of military life and the jobs of nurses and pilots is very detailed and her story is very well plotted.  The dialogue is, at times, a little cutesy for my taste, but true to the times so that can easily  be overlooked.

At the core of it all, A Memory Between Us is a story about two broken people relying on their own strengths instead of God’s, and wondering why God feels so far away.  Ruth and Jack must both confront fears and let go of their pasts, and learn to rely on God’s strength instead of their own in order to move into the future.  Only then will they see that God has given them exactly what they need: each other.

This is a lovely spiritual read every Christian will enjoy.  Jack and Ruth are faced with issues many Christians can relate to, and it was an absolute joy to share this journey with them.

Product information:
Title: A memory between us

Author: Sarah Sundin

Number of pages: 448

Publisher: Revell, Reprint Edition

Year: 2010

ISBN-10: 080073422X

ISBN-13: 978-0800734220